The Perfect BLT (Duke's Mayo)

delish!

There is nothing better than a BLT on a lazy summer evening.

Fresh, homegrown tomatoes are ripe, juicy and everyone's garden has too many for one household to eat (hello free tomatoes!). The smell of frying bacon permeates the house. If you're feeling crazy you may thinly slice a vidalia onion for a little kick. But have you ever wondered what makes the perfect BLT? It's pretty simple: Duke's mayonnaise. You can thank me later.

Duke's - the secret of great southern cooks!

I think my sister introduced me to Duke's and I am forever grateful. Miracle whip is full of high-fructose corn syrup and Hellman's comes packed with more sugar. According to Duke's website, their mayo contains no additional sugar, which, they point out, is "especially important for those with diabetes," or, you know, people who don't want sugar on their sandwich. It lets the flavor of everything else on the sandwich come out, while having that creamy, smooth texture you know and love. Seriously, if you aren't eating this with a BLT in your hand by now, stop what you are doing and go make one. I won't be offended.

Anyways... next time you want a perfect BLT, remember to salt your tomatoes, and don't forget Duke's mayo.

(P.S. don't forget to light a scented candle so your shit doesn't smell like bacon for days.)

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Duke's Mayo:

FKS Scale (1-10): 9 (be honest... have you ever had anything made with mayo that was good for you?)

Pros: Knowing the secret of great southern cooks; anything southern; BLTs; free tomatoes

Cons: smelling like bacon for days; shitty free tomatoes; your aunt's nasty fruit salad

Fatal Error (Dragon King's Daughter)

We've all done it. I, myself, admit to having made the mistake, even if only a handful of times. Last night was one of those occasions. I should have known to wrap it up early, but alas, after a wonderful (yet imperfect) meal, I ruined my palate with an extremely poor dessert choice. I really, really hate when that happens.

Sister and I visited a relatively new restaurant down the street, Dragon King's Daughter, a Japanese/Pizza/Taco fusion restaurant that, after one look at the menu, I had to check out. Like, immediately. How did I not know there were tuna tataki tacos just down the street?

Nestled on the corner of Ellwood and Bardstown, DK'sD (no, not a reproductive organ) hosts a delightful menu that sister and I, even having fully previewed the menu beforehand (as always), navigated with care. Wanting to start with one of the original appetizers, we quickly settled on the "chorizo yaki onigiri," a Japanese tex-mex mixture of sushi rice and chorizo, pan fried and topped with a wasabi mayo. Intriguing and only $4.50... hell, why not? We expected bite-size nuggets of smokey, savory rice with a pan-seared crust; instead we got a massive rice ball with a hint of sausage flavor, no seasoning and not nearly enough wasabi mayo to make the mass interesting. The only effect of pan frying was the considerable oil slick that was the surface. Someone should tell DK'sD (oh wait, I just did) that chorizo and sesame oil don't mix, nor does one have any need for the other. Any flavor benefit from either ingredients was lost in the shuffle. We quickly moved on.

Now, the main events of the menu -tacos, pizza and sushi- were altogether intriguing. Sister and I headed directly to the taco selections and, after struggling to come to a consensus, settled on the "asian barbeque beef" and "shrimp tempura" tacos - each easily affordable at a 3-taco for $8 price. Sold. Both selections came on perfectly warmed corn tortillas, topped with a generous portion of avocado and delightfully delicious sauces. The shrimp tempura was perfectly lightly-battered and fried and topped with an addictive mango habenero sauce. If this shit was bottled, I would have bought it (it wasn't bottled, so I'm going to make it). The tempura added a nice crunchy texture to the taco, although you could easily recreate the dish at home with a lightly sauteed shrimp and get a similarly satisfying flavor profile. The barbeque beef was served bite-size (dude, where was that technique with the big lump of chorizo-y rice?) and was a perfect blend of sweet and savory. The wasabi mayo added a nice hint of heat. The only thing missing on each plate was a side of more sauce, because each made their respective dish sing.

(taco remnants)

Now, here's where my overzealous food-brain kicked in. I was fully satisfied, if not nearly stuffed from the delicious tacos, but my mind flashes back to the dessert list, thinking, "Hey, didn't I see dessert sushi on the menu? I've always wanted to try dessert sushi! Yeah! I'm going to get some dessert sushi!" If you can also hear yourself saying this, then I can confirm 150% that you do NOT want to order the fruit sushi dessert at DK'sD. There is also a deep-fried fried oreo and cream cheese roll, and why on God's green Earth I went mango/avocado/cream cheese and not fried oreo/cream cheese I will never know. Seriously, wtf? Anyway.. the fruit roll came topped with an unsweetened, bruleed cream cheese (didn't know you could brulee something so very lacking in sugar) that was so bitter that it was all I could do to swoop up the whipped cream garnish with my chopsticks as quickly as possible. I went in for two more rolls, thinking that it would get better, but it only got much, much worse, until I had unceremoniously wiped the barbeque/wasabi/tempura/sweet habenero goodness for good from my tongue. With three bites I had ruined the meal for my taste buds. Game over.

(decieving little bastards)

I tell you this, not to harp on the two sour choices I made with my ordering, but to tell you to please, think before you order dessert at any restaurant. The tacos at DK'sD were so good that they needed no other pairing than the nigori with which I washed them down. In fact, those tacos had me telling myself I WILL be back for Japanese pizza. Like, tomorrow.

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Dragon King's Daughter:
FKS Scale (1-10): 6, would be higher but for my effed up ordering
Pros: affordable; asian taco/pizza fusion; late-night happy hour sushi; proximity to karaoke; mango-habenero sauce; wasabi mayo; cute wait staff; getting to type DK'sD over and over
Cons: slabs of salty, oily rice; bitter bruleed cream cheese minus any sugar; Tom's effing everywhere=lots of midge feet

Fat-Kid Syndrome

"Food is our common ground, a universal experience." - James Beard

Sometimes we take for granted the language in which we speak. To me, music and food are those languages. While I never have considered myself an expert in either field, I would like to take you on a journey through my life as it pertains to food. I'll leave music to the professionals.

Fat-kid Syndrome (FKS) is a phrase I've used for at least a year and, truthfully, I'm not sure whether I made it up (I take that back, calling dibs right now) but it has become a second-nature reference to eating ridiculously good food. It is not a reference to the food itself, but more of the spiritual transcendence one encounters by eating this food.

This blog is an homage to that food.